Where did we get the idea that church is about what we like?

We didn't get it from the Bible. Our Lord commands us to "love one another." This is infinitely more than 'juice and coffee' at church and trading pulpits once a year... Christ told us the standard, "As the Father has loved me, I have loved you" . . . then, "as I have loved you, so you must love one another." This is incarnational, kenotic (emptying ourselves and becoming that which we are not) love which comes from above. The discussion about integration in the body of Christ begins with LOVE, not demographics; we are called to submission, one to another, in mutual, interdependent RELATIONSHIP. Unless we are in relationship with one another, integration is dead in the water. Of course, the demographics play a part, but we must proceed from a biblical framework. If we follow through with the process, to 'love one another', the outcome will then be unity (John 17), a visible unity which will be supernaturally remarkable to the watching world.